Not lack of want

Wow, it's been awhile since I've posted huh? OK OK, I'm sorry!! sheesh! Hopefully those of you that check in now and then to see if I've updated are still stopping by. I have lots of stuff to report on, all selfish things. What I've done, how I feel, what I've bought, were I've been. None of it seems significant enough at all to write about now.

I have a whole new set of priorities now.

Last week my brother was in an accident at work. I don't know the specifics of how and why. I just know that he messed up his hand, lost part of a finger and may lose more. People are right when they say "he's lucky it could have been worse" yeah, true, but it is pretty bad! What makes it bad for me is several reasons. Firsty,we do not live in the same town. I want to be able to tell him I'm here to help if he needs it, but the truth is, I'm not "there" I'm "here." Also, I know he is a strong person, I could start another blog on what makes me proud to be his sister and how I admire him for what he has accomplished and overcome. He will suffer in silence instead of yelling out, which is what he needs to do some times.

I don't know if yelling out is the same as this, but his son told me last night that he started a blog. I was thrilled. He is an awesomly smart man with a great personality that attracts many people. He has many interests and has an eclectic taste in music. He is a former Marine and father of one son. He went back to school to become an electrician while working more than full time sometimes and a family to take care of. I figured all his knowledge and experiences would make for a very interesting and entertaining blog. However, when I clicked on the link in the IM, the first thing that hit me was the name of his blog, and I knew there would not be much entertainment in this one. I was sad immediately, but quickly felt relieved that he began it to use it as a place to put all the complaints, and feelings and other comments he would not "burden" his family and friends with.

Everyone would tell me, including him, that he's doing great with it, he's laughing and joking, he says he's fine. But I wondered about the pain, I wondered about that anger, I wondered about the feelings that he wouldn't..maybe couldn't...explain to a sympathetic face in front of him.

His blog is first on my list. I will read it daily, maybe even more often than that. I may never speak of it to him, I may never bring it up to others, but I'll read it intently and attentatively and hopefully he'll know it's my way of supporting him without nagging him to let me help and smothering him with more advice and sympathy. But I hope that he knows I have both for him when he needs it.